Imperfection

Remember when I used to let your tears warmed my shoulder at time you were contented with sobbed and sadness? Remember when I used to say "hey, chill! come and talk to me when you feel like to. I'm all ears for you" at time you had this unwanted thoughts twirling your mind like a tumor? Remember when you felt unsure about yourself, you keep on asking, "do I look ok?" "Am I good enough?" and then I'll said "you're good enough for us. don't worry too much". Remember when you have the feeling of badly wanting to do something but your weak will power loosen your ability and I keep on saying "just do it, be brave. I got your back". Can you recall all those moments? Don't get me wrong, I don't have any intention to remind you how good I am cos I never see myself as flawless as everyone else. Never be flair in anything. Never land on perfection till I prefer to stay frozen and keep my face straight.

There was a time I demand for tiny hole from whom I call as friend so that I can feel safe and secure, slowly whisper to me that everything's gonna be okay. Convince me in having faith on my own ability and shove away the solitary moment inside me. Nobody want to feel contaminate with bad testimonial from their own friend cos I believe good friends won't camouflage. Due to inferior of feeling discriminate, I try my very best to convince you in every words and actions of yours. Well, karma tells us, what goes around will come around.

But somehow, karma doesn't really work on me perhaps. When I hide my face in between pillows, keep all the sorrow to myself, you never have a gut to ask even a single why. Instead, you prefer to let it stay frozen, as if my emotions have nothing to do with yours. And you blamed me for every imperfection shown in your eyes as if I don't really belong there, like I don't deserve to be as same as where you were standing. You might see me laugh in the next minute, but deep at the bottom of my heart, I'm battling to comfort myself and trying hard to replace the poignant inside me by carving a smile. I felt truly disappointed. Disappointed to you, and ashamed with my own flaw. I wish I'm reborn. Sigh.

I'm sorry if I'd been too much explicit this time. I have no intention to hurt anyone, but I assume I can overload my post with my own emotions as this is my blog. No hard feelings. :)