My Bitchy Girls

Friend is a person attached to another by feeling of warm affection or personal regard. It is not by a mean of casual acquaintances or someone recognized by sight, thought not intimately. When we termed his/her as an either friend, true friend or best friend, indirectly we assume that they are the one whom we can lean on whenever life turns upside down regardless of doubting the appearance shown as a friend in disguise. I believe almost every single human on earth have their own companionship, and approximately half of us have best friends, a person whom you can address your problems and trust on to conceal the truth behind your secrets.

Unbelievable me, I used to vow that I won't drown myself in this interrelationship thing but it eventually started to change when I met them, my bitchy BFFs who never stop resound the audio with their laughs and indecent jokes. ROFL. Yes, I have to admit, it's too early to labeled us each other as a BFF, but why not taking a chance standing on your path? Whatever the consequence is, let time tell. They keep me stand when things around started to fall apart and they keep the tune right when I'm in the middle of nowhere, so I demand nothing more, they are more than enough. :)

So BFFs, I try to tame my temper and learn to stop throwing tantrums. I promise I'll be good and nice little Aida. Perhaps I never utter this beyond your consciousness, but trust me, I always want things to turn out good between us. And sorry if I hurt any of you in this 3 months and above we'd been together with my improper language and actions. I cherish you guys, I really do. Lebiuu BFFs! :)

Imperfection

Remember when I used to let your tears warmed my shoulder at time you were contented with sobbed and sadness? Remember when I used to say "hey, chill! come and talk to me when you feel like to. I'm all ears for you" at time you had this unwanted thoughts twirling your mind like a tumor? Remember when you felt unsure about yourself, you keep on asking, "do I look ok?" "Am I good enough?" and then I'll said "you're good enough for us. don't worry too much". Remember when you have the feeling of badly wanting to do something but your weak will power loosen your ability and I keep on saying "just do it, be brave. I got your back". Can you recall all those moments? Don't get me wrong, I don't have any intention to remind you how good I am cos I never see myself as flawless as everyone else. Never be flair in anything. Never land on perfection till I prefer to stay frozen and keep my face straight.

There was a time I demand for tiny hole from whom I call as friend so that I can feel safe and secure, slowly whisper to me that everything's gonna be okay. Convince me in having faith on my own ability and shove away the solitary moment inside me. Nobody want to feel contaminate with bad testimonial from their own friend cos I believe good friends won't camouflage. Due to inferior of feeling discriminate, I try my very best to convince you in every words and actions of yours. Well, karma tells us, what goes around will come around.

But somehow, karma doesn't really work on me perhaps. When I hide my face in between pillows, keep all the sorrow to myself, you never have a gut to ask even a single why. Instead, you prefer to let it stay frozen, as if my emotions have nothing to do with yours. And you blamed me for every imperfection shown in your eyes as if I don't really belong there, like I don't deserve to be as same as where you were standing. You might see me laugh in the next minute, but deep at the bottom of my heart, I'm battling to comfort myself and trying hard to replace the poignant inside me by carving a smile. I felt truly disappointed. Disappointed to you, and ashamed with my own flaw. I wish I'm reborn. Sigh.

I'm sorry if I'd been too much explicit this time. I have no intention to hurt anyone, but I assume I can overload my post with my own emotions as this is my blog. No hard feelings. :)

What's on your mind?

Currently what's on my mind?




















THIS















Or THIS
















I know some of you might jump into assumption, it's really crazy and irrelevant.
But somehow, I don't really care. In fact, I just love all those weirdo's stuffs.
I would really go gaga over crazy things!
Oh my shit, what am I thinking?
This is so gonna be FUN!
MUAHAHA.

Different Options

After few months living in this new atmosphere, at last, for the first time today, I'd been able to wake up like a normal human being, avoiding myself from snoring like a pig in the morning and woke up in the evening like a disheveled zombie looking for repast. LOL. I spent some quality time with two favorite people of mine by jogging around UM's compound this morning, and they brought me way too far from my expectation. We jogged till we reached PALAPES camp, where of course, I'd behaved notoriously and gave the PALAPES' members a funny signal. I don't have any idea why on earth I was so energetic just now. ROFL. I was joking around, hopefully they would not take it too serious. i don't have any intention to undermine them. Hehe. And of course, we storied many things along the way and we laughed crazily even over simple things. We recalled back the time we had been oriented by our seniors. It's just so funny and even you told me the same story over and over again, I would burst into hysterical laugh till my stomach crack. HAHA.


And all of a sudden, today, I'm thinking of doing something that I doubt of my own ability that I can do it. I doubt if I can resist my own reflection. But I shouldn't let this feeling overpower me anymore. I always lower my ego in friendship and I can easily offer friendship to people around me without taking into account of what type of person you are, what kind of attitude you have or what are the things that people talk behind you. But when you take my honesty for granted and treat me like a stranger whenever you don't need me anymore, now that wasn't very nice right? You just have to choose 2 easy options, take it, or leave it. As simple as that. I refuse to involve in any of your game cos friendship is not a gamble, all I demand is a piece of honesty from you. Okay? Hopefully you can make up your mind, take it, or leave it. :)





The picture was taken during our Jamuan Raya Dental. Don't ask me why I upload this, I just need some frenzy pictures for my plain entry. Hehe.