Silent Thoughts.

I was all alone in the middle of the night and these sensational unrealistic feelings deep inside me are getting vivid. I refused to post any entry bout my unrealistic emotion cos i don't wanna people to undermine me and look me as a miserable pathetic person. I prefer to put my weaknesses beneath the pillow. And that's the reason i deactivate my previous blog. But i'm feeling human now, i can't help being explosive at this time. My fingers are eager to type all the lumps inside me. There's mixture of feelings now, guess that keeping all those unwanted feelings to myself wasn't a brilliant idea.

fathoming of what i had left behind and what i had earned, I can't keep tears from running down at the edge of my eyes. I always believe that birds always come back to it's nest. But i'm feeling unsure if i can wait long enough, waiting for something that i doubt of the existence. I know i shouldn't stop having faith cos i'm the one who promising you a hope, but it started to fade away now. I can't feel your presence anymore, no catalyst left to spur my confidence towards us. I never look us as one anymore, i saw two different person, with two different world.

I try to fix things up but it's getting harder and harder. Ignorance started to sound bliss for me. I prefer to ignore you, letting everything left undefined. Not a good idea after all, but it's ease me at this moment. I miss you and everything that we ever had. But i'm letting off the grip now, cos i never wanna be a hindrance for you to be happy.

I wanna talk to someone, who could shove away the grief and sadness i felt. And keep everything from falling apart. I need any mantra that can soothe this frenzy emotion. There's always a good people around me, but i don't want to burden them. I don't want anyone to see my tears from running down.


But i wish, i just wish that someone will read this and willing to listen to my silent thoughts. Will you?

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